Letters From a Lesbian

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Dear Republican presidential hopefuls and all other random gay haters, 

I’m going to do you a favor and warn you of the meteor coming at your foreheads that you don’t seem to recognize yet.  You’re on the wrong side of the battle.  Don’t jump at me though.  I’m not saying your beliefs are wrong… even though mine are different, but gay rights?  Yea gay rights will prevail… I’ve seen this movie before.

I bet you’re confused.  I would be too, but if you’ve seen Hairspray before you should know what I mean.  If not, here’s the synopsis.  

1. There’s a big social issue in which a minority is being oppressed.

2. People get angry.

3. Angry minority fights for rights in brightly colored costumes with great hair.

4. Opposed old-fashioned thinkers (being played by stern evil-looking characters) fight back.

5. Ultimately, social change occurs.

Sound like something else you know?  Yea… Hopefully we’re on the same page.  You’re going to be played by the stern evil-looking characters in the movie about gay rights and ultimately this battle will be a loss for you.

Jump on the band wagon.  I won’t even blame you… I’ll be the ridiculous blogger in the movie and you can be the initially insensitive jerk who has an epiphany halfway through the movie and carries the rainbow banner in the dramatic slow motion scene that leaves the audience biting their nails even though we all know the ending.